23 September 2015
I just want to tell You what is in my heart:
Dear Holy Spirit:
You have been so good to me—a very present Help in times of need. You protect me from unknown dangers and lead me into the Way of Life. You share the secrets of earth and of Heaven with me. You tell me to open my mouth to speak when I don’t know what to say, and You fill it, giving me words that are way beyond my own wisdom or understanding.
I remember meeting You, having no idea what to expect. You baptized me in Your presence and in Your love, and then You gave me a new language—the language of Heaven. You changed my life forever.
During those years when I was so far from God, when I wandered in anger and ignorance, You stayed with me. Even though I must have offended You hundreds of times every day, You never left me. I’ve never known a friend so faithful! And when it was time for me to come back, You wooed me tenderly for months, preparing me to return to God—to Yourself. I wasn’t ready to come back. I didn’t want to come back, but You were so sweetly persuasive that I couldn’t say no. And I’ve never regretted it.
Like many people I have misunderstood You, thinking that the Angry Old Testament God (You!) had been replaced by a kinder, gentler God of Love (Jesus). But of course, that mindset reveals a gross lack of understand of who You are. You never change. Jesus said that if we’ve seen Him, we’ve seen You.
You are God who loves me so much that You sent Your Son to die in my place. Your holiness is inviolable, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Father, I don’t want to reduce You to my size. I love You for being so much bigger than me. I love You for being holy. I love You for not tolerating sin. You are Holy God who is Love. You love intimately and infinitely and generously. You made provision for me by the blood of Your own Son. I confess, I’ve never loved anyone enough to sacrifice either of my sons for that person. But You gave the Best, most Precious thing You had—and You did it for me! How could I possibly hold anything back from You? It all came from You in the first place!
I remember that dream in which I first saw You, met You face-to-face. You looked so different from the Hollywood Jesus or the Jesus of Italian paintings that I didn’t recognize You right away. I remember Your smile, how it lit up Your face—and also the room. There was such sweetness and joy in that smile that it was highly contagious. You smiled at me like someone smiles upon seeing a dear friend. And although I haven’t always been such a good friend to You, You have forgiven me so completely that You do see me as a dear friend. That blows my mind.
The thing I remember even more that Your smile is Your eyes. Deep brown eyes so expressive of love. I’ve never seen eyes more beautiful than Yours. Those eyes did all the talking in my second dream of You. They spoke of a love that is both fierce and tender. That was a dream that I never wanted to end. I could spend hours, days, a lifetime, gazing into those lovely eyes of Yours.
And having seen You, all I want is to see You again, to be with You. I love it that we don’t have to talk and talk and talk. Just being with You, listening to Your heartbeat, is amazing. And to think that’s what You want, too! I don’t understand how anyone could find anything about this world better that being with You. I think it’s just because they don’t know what I know. But I say it all the time, and I will keep saying it: God is good!