Someone recently had mentioned the book The Wounded Heart to me, saying how much it helped her, despite the fact that her “wound” was not childhood sexual abuse, which is the primary focus of the book.
Then another person had mentioned to me about testing your Emotional Intelligence (EQ) and how much it helped her (the results of my free online test are below). Hmm . . . Maybe there is something I am supposed to be learning in order to improve myself.
God has already done a lot of inner healing, but I know that there are still unresolved issues that I need to deal with. I’m just not convinced that EQ or The Wounded Heart is the right answer for me. The thing is that I could literally spend hundreds of dollars on books and workshops trying to find the solution, but without knowing the right direction, it would do me little good. And I definitely don’t want to lose any of the progress I’ve already made. Many of the solutions require a person to look back at the times they were wounded, and re-hash them. I will do that only if I truly believe that it is going to benefit me in the long run. What I don’t want to do is to find myself remembering or talking about the past and stirring up negative feelings for people that I have worked very hard to forgive and to love again.
So this is some of what I have been doing daily in the swing while little Joey naps: praying to understand what it is that I need to do in order to completely heal emotionally. Today I remembered the prophecy newsletter that arrived in my email inbox just yesterday:
Define that feeling of restlessness. When you do, you will find that there is something you need to do or consider doing. It is a nudge to get you moving in the right direction. Quiet your inner being so that you can allow Me to show you the way you should go, says the Lord. Rise up in confidence that I am your very present help. Psalms 46:1 – God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
So while I was on the swing, I started swinging higher, really enjoying the sensation. Then I noticed that the swing next to me was also swinging. Jesus and I were swinging together. So I began talking to Him. He is a really good listener. He didn’t reveal anything big to me, but I felt reassured that revelation will come, and with it, healing. God is good!
So here’s the results of my EQ test:
You have slightly above average EQ, with room to grow! You are likely sensitive to the emotional climate of the people around you when you and they—peers, friends, family and key clients—are under pressure. You are aware of the effect your behavior has on others. While you may be adept at tuning into others and their needs, you must remember your own. Don’t be afraid to honestly communicate these difficult needs and feelings. This is one of the most important aspects of Emotional Intelligence: being able to skillfully air your grievances.
Things to consider:
What situations generally create pressure and stress for you?
How are you handling these situations?
What negative thoughts play over and over in your mind on a regular basis?
Are these a true picture of reality?
When you are triggered emotionally, what are some of your less effective default behaviors?
If you can learn to be more aware of when emotions are driving your behavior and stay calm in your high pressure moments, you will see a big increase in your Emotional Intelligence, which will lead to increased performance and more effective relationships—at work and at home!