The Whole Inheritance

Greetings from Rome!

I am here at Transform 2013, an outreach program of OM.  At the airport while waiting for the bus to the conference, I stopped at a coffee shop for an after-lunch espresso, as is my habit.  Next to me at the coffee bar was a friendly woman.  She smiled and spoke to me in English.  It turned out that she was also headed to Transform.  We hit it off in an instant friendship.  But Monica and I had no idea at the time just how compatible we were.

Transform in Rome is to prepare missionaries for short-term missions in the countries around the Mediterranean.  “Where are you going after the conference?” Monica asked me.  This would become one of the 2 most common questions to strike up conversation at the conference.  The other being, “Where did you come from?”  I told her that I’m from Texas, living in Milan, Italy, and going to Malta after the conference.  Her smile widened and she said, “Me too!”  Both our jaws dropped open.  Right on cue, the bus arrived and took us to the conference.  Monica and I rode together, each glad to have found a traveling companion.

When I arrived in Rome, I was already going on 2 nights in a row of only 4 hours sleep.  Monday night (or technically, Tuesday morning) I awoke at 2AM with a migraine attack beginning.  The enemy frequently tries to prevent me from going or from being effective on missions trips by attacking me with migraines.  But the Lord said to get on my feet and fight.  So I stood there in the dark room, rebuking the enemy silently so as not to awake my 3 roommates.  The migraine immediately went away and I was able to get back to sleep, but had a 3^rd night of only about 4 hours sleep.  Something would have to break.  The next night (yesterday morning) I woke up again at 2 and simply couldn’t get back to sleep.  It wasn’t that my mind was busy, I just laid there feeling my breath going in and out, and not sleeping.  About 11 that morning, I was considering going to the room to see if I could sleep through lunch.

But my morning prayer partner suggested that I pray with someone who knows about generational curses.  She suggested this because I had opened up and told her about my concerns for my son, who had written on Facebook that he hadn’t been happy in a year, and had asked the question, “Why should I go on living?”  I noted that it was about a year ago that his grandfather (my former father-in-law) had committed suicide.  The person she led me to was Monica.

I told Monica about my son and father-in-law, and also that 4 months later, I also lost a close family friend to suicide.  She said that there is a spirit of suicide and a spirit of death that are generational spirits.  That means that they tend to cling to a person’s family, encouraging death among family members.  I had already broken other such curses off my family, but not specifically suicide or death.  I told her that in the last year that I lived with my husband, I suffered thoughts of suicide all day long, day-in and day-out.  And that finally, when I left him, I was literally running for my life—not because of physical danger from him, but because of the danger that I might, in a moment of weakness, act upon those thoughts because of how intolerable life had become for me.  One day I did come close, but instead called 911 and was referred to the County Mental Health Clinic, where I was given a prescription for an anti-depressant.

Monica took me to her room, laid hands on me and prayed for me, breaking the spirit of suicide and death.  She prayed for the healing of my memories and other things that I don’t remember.  What I do remember is that her hands smelled very nice and felt soothing on my skin.  When I commented on the fragrance of her hands she showed me a little vial of Frankincense.  It has a lovely smell!  It’s really very soothing.

After Monica’s prayer, I felt my energy return.  I did take a nap, but not until after lunch, and only for about 45 minutes.  Last night I slept very well, getting about 8 hours—6 in a row!—thank You, Lord!

Today almost everyone has gone into the city of Rome on outreach, taking many paperback Gospels of John in Italian, 3000 dvd’s of the Jesus film to give away, and thousands of tracts to hand out.  I decided to stay behind, knowing that without a nap, I could never last a whole day into the evening, walking around Rome.  On Fridays I pray for Italy from 3-4 in the afternoon.  So I went to the prayer room, with their big floor map of the Mediterranean countries.  I knelt down on Italy and prayed and wept over it.  Then I stretched out over Italy, my heart right over Tuscany.  For a long time I had no words to pray, just mute longing for the salvation of the people of Italy, and my heart beating over Tuscany.

Then I lifted up my head and saw the words printed on the corner of the map: “Ask Me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession,” (Psalm 2:8).  It was 3 years ago, just before I went to Transform 2010, that I received a prophecy, saying (in part): “You will not just receive the blessing, but the whole inheritance.”  So I stood to my feet and began to ask for the nations as my inheritance, and to claim the whole inheritance.  As brokenhearted as I had earlier felt for Italy, I began to feel confident that God will indeed bless and save the people of Italy—no matter what their background.

Then I remembered a prophecy I received a few days ago, but read this morning: “When your faith is in what you want Me to do for you instead just wanting Me, it is misplaced,” (emphasis mine).  Yes, my faith is in God Almighty, and He alone is the hope for Italy.  God, who helped me yesterday when I was in trouble, can help Italy, too!  God is good!

Too Much Homework is Overwhelming!

I haven’t forgotten that I need to write Part 2 of my last post, Blessed Reassurance.  But here’s the thing: I’ve just got too much writing to do at the moment.  I need to write:

1. The script for a film about the missionary guesthouse that my apartment in Milan has become,
2. The script for a PowerPoint about the ministry,
3. A new post for the website’s blog, and
4. Part 2 of my last blog post, mentioned above)

In addition to those writing tasks, I have 2 very big translation jobs:

1. A book from Italian into English (due by the end of the summer) and
2. Our corporate paperwork from English into Italian (due as soon as possible)

All this is just overwhelming me almost to the point of paralysis.

So, instead of putting off the blog altogether, I thought I would take a pleasant little detour today, and take you on a little guided tour into a writer’s mind—mine!  I have written 3 complete books (nonfiction), and 2 that I never completely finished (fiction—I lost interest ¾ of the way through), and several plays (3-5 acts) and skits, the majority of which have been produced in schools and/or churches.  That’s not bragging, it’s just establishing that I know a thing or 2 about writing.

2 of the 3–the only ones I own copies of!

Sometimes people tell me that they feel that urge to write, but writing a book just seems like too big a task.  It’s funny but, I found books to be the easiest thing to write.  Although by word count my plays are about a 10^th the size of my books, they were much harder to write.  It was rewarding when they were done, especially when I saw my plays acted on the stage.  But writing, especially dialogue, was like do-it-yourself dentistry: painful and difficult.  Pulling the words out of my characters’ mouths was like trying to extract my own teeth with a rusty pair of pliers.  (How’s that for a colorful image?)

Books are not so hard to write if you break the task into small pieces.  The blog has helped with that—something I hadn’t imagined when I first started blogging just 3 years ago.  In addition, writing becomes easier if you make a regular appointment with yourself.  I try to write daily, but sometimes my heavy travel schedule makes it impossible to keep up with every single day.  One thing I found is that if you start to treat your writing time as an important appointment, you’ll find that your creative self will meet you at your desk, ready to write.  But you must treat your writing task as something important.  Turn off the phone, don’t answer the door, and close your web browser (unless you need to do research on the internet).

Beginning writers might find more success if they write things out with pencil and paper.  My first book was entirely handwritten before a word of it was put on the computer.  There is something about the sound of the pencil scratching across the page that unblocks the creative wells.  And, yes, even writing nonfiction is creative.  You have an incident that happened, but you choose how to shade it and frame it.

If you want to write, but don’t know what to write about, then take a look at what you like to read.  I have always preferred true life stories, how people overcame their circumstances by faith.  I think that’s why I lost interest in writing those 2 novels.  I just find real life so much more interesting, bizarre, and unpredictable.  Many of the things that have happened in my life are so strange that you simply could never make them up.  And the fact that they are true gives them a meaning that mere fiction could never attain.

It is extremely helpful to be a part of a writing group, that is, a group of writers that get together to support each other’s work.  The key word is support.  If the group you find is only interested in tearing each other’s work apart, then find or form another group.  The most helpful writing group I’ve been in was one in which each of us read what we had worked on that week.  Sometimes it’s only by hearing yourself read it aloud that you can notice things like run-on sentences and nonsensical phrasings.  The others then critiqued the writing, but always in kind and helpful ways.

In general, it’s not a good idea to share your writing with non-writers—at least not at first.  Non-writers usually don’t know how to tell you what works and what doesn’t.  Sometimes their comments will be a sweeping statement of disapproval, when in reality there is just a misplaced word or an awkward phrase.  The writing process has been likened to pregnancy and birth.  You wouldn’t give your newborn baby to an inexperienced and clumsy teenager, so you need to treat your newborn writing project with as much care and tenderness.

Editing is way more difficult than writing.  The most important ingredient for editing is time.  Put your writing aside for several weeks or even months.  That will give you fresh eyes to edit with.  So after reading your work to a writing group, making the changes suggested by your “midwives,” put it aside and work on something else or a different part of the project.  Then when you come back to it, you will be much more objective about what you’ve written.  Sometimes you’ll even be surprised by how good it is.

During the editing process, I like to add the sensory imagery that is missing from the first draft.  Sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste all add a dimension to the writing that will help your reader become engrossed in your writing.  Since my writing is nonfiction, this means going back in my mind to remember these missing elements.  Sometimes these come back to me in Technicolor, Dolby surround sound, and Odorama (does anyone else remember Polyester?).  Other times, I have to imagine what is missing.  But this is such an important element that I dare not skip this step, even if it’s difficult to remember.

So, there you have it: my writing process.  Oh, and one last thing: while praying the other day, the Lord showed me that this year I have been working on 2 books simultaneously—hallelujah!  God is good!

A Clanging Cowbell

This last birthday the best present I got was from God: He gave me my singing voice.  I’m not saying that I sing like Maria Callas or Judy Collins.  I’m not even sure that I can sing on key, but now I have the courage and freedom to sing—into a microphone!—without fear, and that’s a miracle.  You can read about it in my latest book, “Laughing in My Dreams,” available through Lulu.com (http://www.lulu.com/shop/alisa-k-brown/laughing-in-my-dreams/paperback/product-20585131.html).

This was at the Feast of Tabernacles (Sukkot) in Kalisz, Poland, where the local church celebrates in praise and worship 24 hours a day over 7 days.  This past fall was my second time there, and for the second time, I was the lone representative of Italy—me, a foreign resident, representing Italy.  But I did my best to represent Italy, bringing my Italian flag and singing as strongly as possible whenever I heard a song I know in Italian.

Upon returning home after my first time at Tabernacles I talked to a few local pastors and worship leaders about taking a team to represent Italy.  The response was underwhelming, very discouraging.  And after God gave me back the freedom to sing, I thought perhaps I would get a guitar and see if I could learn enough to represent Italy in worship from the platform.  Interestingly enough, the first person I mentioned this to said that she had told her son just that morning that he should give me his guitar, since he no longer has time or the inclination to play.  I have a guitar now—one that I’m too intimidated to even try to tune (not that I remember how to tune a guitar!).

While I was in the US for Christmas break I went to a music shop and bought a tambourine and a cowbell.  My sons laughed at me for buying a cowbell, but I love the sound of cowbells.  And I love the idea of keeping time with a cowbell instead of clapping hands.  Plus, it’s small and easy to travel with, which is a definite plus in my traveling lifestyle.

It is the best cowbell ever–it says so right on the sticker!

When I returned to Italy, I mentioned once again (this time to Pastor Fabio) that I would like to bring an Italian worship group to Poland for Tabernacles.  Unlike his reaction last year, this time he was very enthusiastic about the idea.  I am hoping that everything works out, and that I can bring the worship group from the Biella church.  But even if they don’t come, I will be there with my Italian flag, my cowbell, and my tambourine, representing Italy the best that I can.

Wafers that Doug & Jane (Blessing We Are Blessed) brought me–Kalisz is famous for them!

Jazzed by That Creative Energy

Thanks to Laurie for the inspiration!

Have you ever noticed that it’s energizing and at the same time relaxing, fun, and fulfilling to create?  Time seems to fly by, and you may have even missed a meal when you’re fully engaged in creating something.  This applies to all creative pursuits:  visual (drawing, painting, sculpture, photographic, textile arts, ceramics, woodworking, etc.), musical, performing arts (acting, dancing, choreography, set design, etc.) graphic (computer-based artwork, design, PowerPoint, Photoshop, etc.), writing (mine), and any combination of the above, the list is truly endless.  I believe this is because when we’re creating we are doing the thing we were made to do.

Consider this:  we were made in the image of God—The Creator!  When we create, we are imitating our Father.  When we create, I believe that we make our Father proud of us.  That’s why it’s so rewarding to create.  What was the first job given to Adam?  Gardening.  Adam was the first landscaping designer.  Next God brought all the animals to Adam so that he could name them.  God could have named the animals, but he gave that task to Adam.

When we got a poodle puppy in 1965, Daddy named him Poodle-a-Go-Go.  Daddy’s pet names were all like that:  funny and clever.  When I was six years old, my parents let me name our cat.  I looked carefully at him and named him Fuzzy.  OK, not a spectacularly imaginative name, but I think I captured the essence of this long-haired tabby cat.  And my parents honored my lame name, calling the cat Fuzzy all the days of his life.

You may say that you’re not very creative or that you have no talent.  I say that you just haven’t found your creative niche yet.  Like me with naming pets when I was six.  Since we’re not God, it takes most of us some time to develop the skills and to perfect our creative talents.  Experiment!  Try different materials, methods, styles.  You’ll find yourself creatively, but you’ve got to be patient with yourself, too.  Above all, you’ve got to honor your creativity by spending time at it.  You can’t expect to improve if you never spend time at it.

Guess who is incapable of creating:  the devil.  That’s why he twists God’s perfect creation into something perverted, because he cannot create.  He (along with the rest of the angels) was not made in God’s image, only we were.  And because he’s jealous of our ability to create, the devil tries to fool us into thinking that creative pursuits are a waste of time, that we should spend our time working at a “real job.”  The devil wants you to believe that you must work hard to get anywhere in this world.  But you want to know the truth?  They say do what you love and the money will come.  I believe that’s true because what humans love to do is create.  God honors that—especially when we use our creative abilities to honor Him.

The truth is that there is plenty of room in God’s Kingdom for creative pursuits.

So you go to town with that creative thing!  Joyfully play (not work) at your creative art.  Make our Father proud!

Fun with English

Sometimes one of the funniest things about living in Italy is the so-called English you see on T-shirts, posters, and in graffiti.  It ranges from the slightly incorrect to head-scratching bizarre.  Here are some of my favorites:

In Italian, information is plural, which is definitely a cultural thing.  Because when it’s finally your turn, you want to ask every possible question while you’ve got the chance.

Service is another thing that is plural in Italian (we’ll forgive the spelling error).  The logic is that anyone who offers only one service will soon be put out of business by those who offer many and varied services.

Prepositions do not translate in Italian like other parts of speech.  Whereas we would say, “It’s Time to Travel,” in Italian the correct preposition is “of.”  A prepositional difference that causes problems for many English-speakers is being “in” a city.  In Italian you say that you are “at” a city and “in” a state or country.

This is another prepositional error, based on translating directly from Italian.  Even after eleven years, I am still corrected (most recently, yesterday) on my use of prepositions in Italian.

I think the writer was trying to convey the idea of an innovation in fun.

Very . . . what?

Um, won’t he mind if I eat his food?  If native English-speakers have trouble with the use of apostrophes, you can expect people from other countries to also have trouble.

I found this sign in a grocery store.  Most non-English-speakers are unaware of double meanings, like how “funny” with regard to food can be a bad thing, as in “this fish tastes funny.”

This sign was at a bank.  You’ve got to give them credit for trying, and they get points for cleverness with the obvious reference to “in God we trust” on American money, but it’s got to be “young people” or it simply doesn’t work in English.

Apparently the person who wrote this is unaware that ‘n is short for “and.”  I think they were trying for something like “lady in motion,” since it’s advertising a fitness club.

I love this one!  I think it’s a simple misspelling of “feeling,” but for a runner, “on the road with felling” could spell disaster.

I took this picture in Prague.  It’s obviously a clothing store, so perhaps they are going for the vegetarian (though not vegan) market.

It’s true, but not well-stated.

This is my favorite!  I found this (it appears to be spaghetti sauce) in a grocery store in Romania and laughed so hard I cried.  The other shoppers just stared at me.  “Man, I’m starving!  If only I had some crap!”

Think up your own “crap” phrases and post them here.  Let’s see who can come up with the funniest crap phrase.