Rescued by My Misfit Church

Two of Mom’s three dogs are “rescues,” that is that she got them from the pound instead of from breeders.  Rescues tend to be mixed breeds, and if not adopted, they will be euthanized.  In many ways, I can relate to rescues because I feel more like a mutt than a pedigreed purebred.  And like the dogs, I was under the sentence of death, but Jesus rescued me.

All my life I’ve felt like a misfit.  I didn’t know precisely what to call that feeling until I moved to Italy.  As a foreigner in Italy, I finally understood this misfit feeling to be feeling foreign.  Yes, all my life I’ve felt foreign in my own country, and even among my own family.  Peter Wagner in his amazing book, Your Spiritual Gifts can Help Your Church Grow, points out that this is a sign of a missionary gift and calling.

I moved to Asheville over a year ago, but in truth I have spent very little time living here.  During this time I have visited a few churches to which I had been invited, but mostly attending Mom’s church and going to Bible studies and services here in the retirement community.

The first church that I was invited to (the day after moving day) was the church next door.  It is a small, very friendly church and the worship style is chandelier-swinging—which I love.  I like worship that is uninhibited and free because then I know that the people behind me (I prefer sitting down front) aren’t shocked by my uninhibited show of love for my Lord.  I have visited some churches where I have gotten comments about the freedom of my worship.  One pair of teenage girls once told me, “Wow!  You just don’t care!”  That could be taken a number of ways, but I prefer to take it as a compliment.

Most of the time I live in Italy.  And because of my traveling lifestyle, even when I’m in the US, I haven’t had a whole lot of opportunities to attend this church or get to know its people.  Until now, that is!  Before going to the conference in Dallas, I attended a Sunday evening service (before Thanksgiving) in which each of us was asked to share what we are thankful to God for.  In hearing about what they were thankful for, I learned that almost everybody there was a rescue like me—rescued first by others in the church, and then by Jesus.  Many of them are misfits like me.

The associate pastor told me that the church’s mission is to help those people who have been wounded by bad church experiences.  Certainly there are a lot of those, not just in Asheville, but all over the US.  It certainly is good to know that there is a place where misfits can fit together and all of us can be rescued—by each other and by the Lord.  I love my misfit church!  God is good!

Dancing on the Roof

Here in Dave and Sharon’s beautiful villa the roof is open and flat, so in the morning while it is still cool, the dancers practice on the roof.  Tonight I will do another overnight shift, so this morning I decided to spend some time with the dancer team.

Most people don’t know this about me, but most of my childhood was spent in ballet class.  I also took modern dance, tap, and jazz.  Dance is something I dearly loved, but gave up to become a housewife and mother.  There was a time when I believed that Heaven would be an endless dance of love.  I have recently come around to believe again that Heaven will be an endless dance of love.  But I had felt shy among the dancers because all that was almost 40 years, 2 pregnancies, and 75 pounds ago.  That means that my center of gravity has dramatically changed and my muscle memory cannot be trusted.  What had been easy for me all those years ago has become quite difficult indeed, and I don’t balance as easily as I once did.

My shyness with the dancers also had to do with a bad experience a few years ago.  I had taken a class called Dance as Prayer.  It turned out that it was misnamed.  The teacher had actually wanted Dance as Show dancers.  I had gone, hoping to learn to pray in a new way.  The teacher criticized my dancing so harshly that I simply quit going.  I figured that I don’t need to spend €20 a week to be told what a bad dancer I am.  I do forgive her, and understand that I didn’t fit into her profile of dancers because of being too old, too fat, and too awkward.  Still, it stung very badly.

So I have made my interactions with the dance team very tentative and cautious.  I admit, I don’t want to be rejected again.  But instead of rejection, they have been very welcoming.  They seem genuinely glad to have me here on the roof to watch them practice and to pray for and with them.  I haven’t shared any of my history with them, and I’m sure that they would never guess at it.  But those fears of rejection turned out to be unwarranted.  Perhaps I’ll tell them when the moment is right.

I know that God has set all this up to bring healing to my heart through dance.  God is good!

Too Much Homework is Overwhelming!

I haven’t forgotten that I need to write Part 2 of my last post, Blessed Reassurance.  But here’s the thing: I’ve just got too much writing to do at the moment.  I need to write:

1. The script for a film about the missionary guesthouse that my apartment in Milan has become,
2. The script for a PowerPoint about the ministry,
3. A new post for the website’s blog, and
4. Part 2 of my last blog post, mentioned above)

In addition to those writing tasks, I have 2 very big translation jobs:

1. A book from Italian into English (due by the end of the summer) and
2. Our corporate paperwork from English into Italian (due as soon as possible)

All this is just overwhelming me almost to the point of paralysis.

So, instead of putting off the blog altogether, I thought I would take a pleasant little detour today, and take you on a little guided tour into a writer’s mind—mine!  I have written 3 complete books (nonfiction), and 2 that I never completely finished (fiction—I lost interest ¾ of the way through), and several plays (3-5 acts) and skits, the majority of which have been produced in schools and/or churches.  That’s not bragging, it’s just establishing that I know a thing or 2 about writing.

2 of the 3–the only ones I own copies of!

Sometimes people tell me that they feel that urge to write, but writing a book just seems like too big a task.  It’s funny but, I found books to be the easiest thing to write.  Although by word count my plays are about a 10^th the size of my books, they were much harder to write.  It was rewarding when they were done, especially when I saw my plays acted on the stage.  But writing, especially dialogue, was like do-it-yourself dentistry: painful and difficult.  Pulling the words out of my characters’ mouths was like trying to extract my own teeth with a rusty pair of pliers.  (How’s that for a colorful image?)

Books are not so hard to write if you break the task into small pieces.  The blog has helped with that—something I hadn’t imagined when I first started blogging just 3 years ago.  In addition, writing becomes easier if you make a regular appointment with yourself.  I try to write daily, but sometimes my heavy travel schedule makes it impossible to keep up with every single day.  One thing I found is that if you start to treat your writing time as an important appointment, you’ll find that your creative self will meet you at your desk, ready to write.  But you must treat your writing task as something important.  Turn off the phone, don’t answer the door, and close your web browser (unless you need to do research on the internet).

Beginning writers might find more success if they write things out with pencil and paper.  My first book was entirely handwritten before a word of it was put on the computer.  There is something about the sound of the pencil scratching across the page that unblocks the creative wells.  And, yes, even writing nonfiction is creative.  You have an incident that happened, but you choose how to shade it and frame it.

If you want to write, but don’t know what to write about, then take a look at what you like to read.  I have always preferred true life stories, how people overcame their circumstances by faith.  I think that’s why I lost interest in writing those 2 novels.  I just find real life so much more interesting, bizarre, and unpredictable.  Many of the things that have happened in my life are so strange that you simply could never make them up.  And the fact that they are true gives them a meaning that mere fiction could never attain.

It is extremely helpful to be a part of a writing group, that is, a group of writers that get together to support each other’s work.  The key word is support.  If the group you find is only interested in tearing each other’s work apart, then find or form another group.  The most helpful writing group I’ve been in was one in which each of us read what we had worked on that week.  Sometimes it’s only by hearing yourself read it aloud that you can notice things like run-on sentences and nonsensical phrasings.  The others then critiqued the writing, but always in kind and helpful ways.

In general, it’s not a good idea to share your writing with non-writers—at least not at first.  Non-writers usually don’t know how to tell you what works and what doesn’t.  Sometimes their comments will be a sweeping statement of disapproval, when in reality there is just a misplaced word or an awkward phrase.  The writing process has been likened to pregnancy and birth.  You wouldn’t give your newborn baby to an inexperienced and clumsy teenager, so you need to treat your newborn writing project with as much care and tenderness.

Editing is way more difficult than writing.  The most important ingredient for editing is time.  Put your writing aside for several weeks or even months.  That will give you fresh eyes to edit with.  So after reading your work to a writing group, making the changes suggested by your “midwives,” put it aside and work on something else or a different part of the project.  Then when you come back to it, you will be much more objective about what you’ve written.  Sometimes you’ll even be surprised by how good it is.

During the editing process, I like to add the sensory imagery that is missing from the first draft.  Sight, smell, sound, touch, and taste all add a dimension to the writing that will help your reader become engrossed in your writing.  Since my writing is nonfiction, this means going back in my mind to remember these missing elements.  Sometimes these come back to me in Technicolor, Dolby surround sound, and Odorama (does anyone else remember Polyester?).  Other times, I have to imagine what is missing.  But this is such an important element that I dare not skip this step, even if it’s difficult to remember.

So, there you have it: my writing process.  Oh, and one last thing: while praying the other day, the Lord showed me that this year I have been working on 2 books simultaneously—hallelujah!  God is good!

Encouragement!

Day Three

The really cool thing about having the gift of encouragements (or exhortation) is that while encouraging others in the full spiritual exercise of the gift (in other words, not in my own ability), I am also encouraged.  Often, in fact most of the time, I only hear the words for the first time as they are coming out of my mouth.  Sometimes, if it is a word only for that person, I won’t remember what I said.  And even that is encouraging.  Sometimes that person will tell me: “Remember when you told me . . . ?  It was just what I needed to hear.”  It’s encouraging because I know that it was the Holy Spirit speaking through me.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Paul writes: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  Then he goes on to show what encouragement looks like:

5:11 – Build each other up: tell others the qualities that you genuinely appreciate about them.

5:12 – Respect those who are over you: cooperate with your co-workers in Christ, especially those in leadership.

5:13 – Hold leaders in highest regard: don’t participate in gossip about them, and don’t criticize them.  In fact, take a moment to tell your leaders how much you appreciate them.

5:13 – Live in peace: deliberately seek to live in harmony with others.  Be willing to agree to disagree whenever necessary.

5:14 – Warn the idle: invite them to join you in a project.  Sometimes people don’t offer to help because they think that others are more capable or don’t need their help.

5:14 – Encourage the timid: Remind them of who they are in Christ.  Remind them of God’s great promises to them.

5:14 – Help the weak: Show love to them and pray for and with them.  Take a walk in their shoes and consider what they are going through.

5:14 – Be patient with everyone: Remember that everyone is on their own spiritual walk, and these people (the idle, the timid, and the weak) need encouragement and patient discipling in order to grow.

5:15 – Don’t pay back wrong for wrong: You may be as right and as righteous as you think you are, and the person who wronged you might be as evil and wrong as can be.  But only your reaction to this person will establish your righteousness.  As Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” (Matthew 5:44).

5:16 – Be joyful: Put aside all negative thinking.  No matter what happens, no matter what seems to go wrong, remember that God is in control.  With God on your side, everything will come out for the best, no matter what it looks like right now.  God is on your side!

5:17 – Pray continually:  Prayer doesn’t just occur in your room and on your knees, though that should be a part of your lifestyle.  Practice the presence of God throughout the day.  If your thoughts stray from Him to something you shouldn’t be thinking about, bring those thoughts into captivity.  Practice breath prayers throughout the day—breath out negativity and impure thoughts; breath in the Holy Spirit’s presence.  Memorize a Bible verse and whisper it to yourself throughout the day.

5:18 – Give thanks in all circumstances: God is in control and He is on your side, so thank Him.  If something has happened that you can’t thank God for, then thank Him for being in control and for being on your side.  Find something in your situation to thank Him for.

5:19 – Do not put out the Spirit’s fire: When the Holy Spirit prompts you to do or say something, cooperate and do it.  By cooperating with the Holy Spirit, He will work more and more in your life.

5:20 – Do not treat prophecies with contempt: You may not understand all prophecy, in fact, it is unlikely that you will understand all prophecy.  And . . .

5:21 – Test everything and hold onto the good: Whether you understand the prophecy or not, test it.  The test is God’s Word.  Prophecy that contradicts God’s Word is false prophecy.  God will never contradict the Bible.  Even if you don’t understand a prophecy, if it stands the test of God’s Word, then hold onto it and watch to see it fulfilled.

5:22 – Avoid every kind of evil: Don’t go into a situation that you know will tempt you.  When you are tempted, resist the devil and he will flee from you (James 4:7).

5:23 – Depend on God to sanctify you through and through, and keep you blameless: You can’t do any of these things in your own strength, especially this last one, so depend on God, and He will help you.  When you can’t do something (anything), God will do it for you and through you.  He doesn’t call the equipped, but equips the called.  Or as my friend, Pastor Chris, says: “If your ministry doesn’t scare you, then it’s not from God.”

So, encourage and be encouraged!  God is good!