Preacher

A few weeks ago the priest at Mom’s church asked me if I ever preach. Without thinking or hesitating, I said yes. In truth, I’ve only ever preached in cyberspace (AKA, my blog), but this was an amazing opportunity, and I wasn’t going to turn it down.
So yesterday was the day, and what a perfect Sunday for me to preach: Presentation Sunday. The Gospel passage for Presentation Sunday is Luke 2:22-40:

When the time came for their purification according to the law of Moses, the parents of Jesus brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (as it is written in the law of the Lord, “Every firstborn male shall be designated as holy to the Lord”), and they offered a sacrifice according to what is stated in the law of the Lord, “a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons.”
Now there was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon; this man was righteous and devout, looking forward to the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit rested on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah. Guided by the Spirit, Simeon came into the temple; and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him what was customary under the law, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying, “Master, now you are dismissing your servant in peace, according to your word; for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.”
And the child’s father and mother were amazed at what was being said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and said to his mother Mary, “This child is destined for the falling and the rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed so that the inner thoughts of many will be revealed—and a sword will pierce your own soul too.”
There was also a prophet, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was of a great age, having lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped there with fasting and prayer night and day. At that moment she came, and began to praise God and to speak about the child to all who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem.
When they had finished everything required by the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon him.

So here is my sermon for Presentation Sunday:

Living in Breathless Anticipation

I am a missionary, based in Milan, Italy and called for all of Europe. What I do is encourage missionaries because Europe is a very difficult and discouraging mission field. I work with missionaries and pastors of all Christian denominations. When I started ministry in 2010, the problem was how to find missionaries. The answer was simple: go where missionaries hang out—churches. So it became my habit to attend at least two church services each Sunday.
I love going to church. I know that some people come to church, and once a week is about all that they can stand, but I love church. I attend services from the whole range of Christianity: Catholic high masses to chandelier-swinging Pentecostal services, and everything in between. Of course, I have my own preference, which lies somewhere in the middle, but no matter what kind of expression of worship, I love going to church. I love going to church because no matter where I go or what the worship is like, God always shows up. Sometimes it’s my favorite song or my favorite passage from the Bible. Sometimes it’s a nugget in the sermon and every once in a while, it’s a whole sermon that feels like it was a personal message to me from God. So I love going to church because God always shows up for me.
So I can relate to Simeon and Anna. They were at the temple every day. They each had a promise from God that they would see His Messiah, the Christ. So they did what I do: they came to the Temple every day with the breathless anticipation of seeing God’s Messiah. And because of their expectation of meeting God, I believe that God showed up each day for them, like He does for me. So every day for years, for decades, they came to the temple in breathless anticipation, meeting God in the little things until that day finally came when they saw Him in the face to face.
But my story is not over. We are living in the time when Jesus could return. According to Bible prophecy, His return is likely to be in our lifetime. So we should not only come to church, expecting to meet God, but we should wake up each day with breathless anticipation: is today the day? It could be!

So yesterday, on a sunny Super Bowl Sunday, I gave the sermon at both morning services in the sweet little Episcopal Church around the corner from home. It was wonderful, getting the opportunity to preach. My sermon was well-received. God is good!

The Not-So-Funhouse Image

This morning during contemplative prayer, I had an epiphany—and what interesting timing, since this is the time of Epiphany on the Christian calendar. I’ve been harassed by spirits of rejection and fear for many years now. And I realized this morning that the image they have made me believe about myself is a distorted one. Recently that fear/rejection image caused me particular problems in my relationships—all because I didn’t understand that the people involved love me. How could they love me when I was having such trouble loving myself?

In a recent post, He Loves Me, I wrote about basking in God’s Niagara Falls of love, feeling the physical sensation of His love falling, falling, falling on me. Even though the physical sensation passed, His love never stopped falling. But I need to keep reminding myself of His love until it becomes integrated into my thinking. And although I’ve read it many, many times, 1 John 4:18 became a rhema word for me today:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

I always remember “perfect love casts out fear,” but I had somehow forgotten all the rest of that verse. Fear and rejection had for so long poisoned my thinking that I had come to have a self-image as distorted as a funhouse mirror.

Today I am taking a hammer to that not-so-funhouse mirror. Today I chose to embrace God’s love and a new (true!) image of myself: loved, accepted, forgiven, and precious. God is good!

Cross-Culture

I used to dream of being the next Billy Graham, filling Heaven with new believers. But evangelism is not my gifting. In fact, my testimony (shared in detail in my latest book, Graceful Flight) is one that most unbelievers simply cannot relate to at all. So I share my faith whenever prompted by the Holy Spirit, but otherwise I stick to the ministry that God has given me: to encourage His people.
A couple of weeks ago, Paul, an acquaintance here at the retirement residence, started sharing his passion for mythical creatures with me. It’s a passion that I not only don’t share, but can’t even relate to. I have to admit that most mythical creatures are hideous, disgusting, and evoke a demonic association. Paul is loud because of severe hearing loss, fiercely competitive, and hyperactive. It would be very easy to dismiss him as an insensitive creep, and I was prepared to do so. But then the Lord showed me that in reality Paul is very sweet.
Paul buys shirts on e-bay with pictures his mythical creatures. Paul loves to find bargains on e-bay. He is constantly finding beautiful, unique costume jewelry for our neighbors at incredibly cheap prices. This has made him very popular among the women here. They tell him what they are looking for and he finds it for them. With prices starting at 99 cents, Paul is obviously not making any money. One day I remembered the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, and realized that Paul’s love language is receiving gifts. He does it all as an act of love for the people of our community.
Paul’s girlfriend, Beverly, recently had a death in the family that hit her very hard. He has been very supportive, trying to help her through all this. His kind of support has been both good (going to chapel services with her) and bad (buying and consuming large amounts of wine with her).
Paul and I usually cross paths in the computer room before breakfast. I didn’t know him well, but we had played team trivia together. After realizing about his love language, I started to like Paul, despite the obsession with mythical creatures. Then one day he came into the computer room and told me about hearing from his college roommate. He was really excited and happy about reconnecting with an old friend. But then he proceeded to tell me a dirty story about his friend’s girlfriend. He wasn’t looking at me, so he couldn’t see my expression, and I knew that it was pointless to try and interrupt, so I just tried to ignore what he was saying and continue with my computer work instead.
This morning while I was thinking about the encounter, I realized that when dealing with non-Christians, we are crossing cultures. Just as I had to learn Italian culture and customs, and adapt accordingly, so in dealing with Paul, I’ve had to learn his culture and customs. Paul came by our apartment recently asking if we had a portable CD player that he and Beverly could borrow. Much to my surprise, Mom had one that I hadn’t even known about. We loaned it to him until his is repaired. The next day, Beverly came up to me all smiles and said, “You made a little boy (meaning Paul) very happy!” A few minutes later, Paul came to me and gave me a perfume bottle with dragons all over it. He was so happy, and this was his way of thanking me. Although I think the thing is ugly, I graciously accepted it.
The next time I saw Paul and Beverly was when the church choir from My Misfit Church came and sang for the residents. The choirmaster passed out hymnals, and we sang along with the choir, including Paul and Beverly. One song we sang was When the Saints go Marching In. In a moment of insane inspiration I hopped to my feet and started marching in time with the music. I felt like a complete fool, but at the same time, it was fun. Afterwards several people came up to tell me what fun and an inspiration I was, marching around like an idiot. Beverly was one of them. She had tears in her eyes because they had also sang Amazing Grace, which had been sung at the funeral. But she also couldn’t keep a smile from her lips as she talked about my nutty march.
The thing about dealing cross-culturally with people is that you have to be flexible and willing to step out of your comfort zone. These days, the gap between us and the rest of the world is as wide as the ocean. Cross-cultural ministry can happen in your own town, and even in your own neighborhood. God is good!

This is War!

Lately, I have received prophecies about letting go of the past. I have worked on it, prayed about it, made the decision to do so, and reminded myself many times about that decision. But it wasn’t until this morning that the Lord revealed to me how important it is to truly let go of the past.
What He showed me is this: we have an enemy who hates us more than you can imagine. He wants nothing more than to destroy us—all humans, but especially Christians. And he is sneaky and cunning, highly intelligent, very dangerous, and he’s invisible most of the time, but able to manifest himself to look like an angel of light, among other things.
The Lord showed me that every time that I react to attacks by reverting to victim mentality, I make myself vulnerable to more and more devastating attacks. I also make myself less and less effective. Imagine a soldier that has been wounded. If the soldier sees the enemy coming and, remembering the painful wound, goes ducking for cover. This allows the enemy to advance, and the soldier actually ends up helping the enemy hurt (or kill) him, and his fellow soldiers.
One of the most devastating blows that our enemy has dealt the Church (the Body of Christ) is with the doctrine that God wants to bless and prosper us. God does want to bless and prosper us, but that is not His purpose or ours. If we focus on what we can get in this world, we’re going to lose everything. Again, if we think of it in terms of warfare, imagine a whole army of soldiers who joined up just so that they could wear the uniform and get the pay and healthcare benefits. When the fighting starts they run away because they don’t want their nice uniforms messed up.
We cannot afford to keep feeding new Christians the pabulum that God wants to bless and prosper them. First of all, although it’s true it’s not the whole truth. If we are not willing to serve, God will not bless us, and any prosperity will be short-lived. And second, concentrating on what we can get in this world weakens the Gospel and its effectiveness.
We’ve got to wake up. There’s a lot at stake, including our children and grandchildren. We need to be praying for revival and for God’s perspective on our lives. We’ve got to learn to fight to win, which means learning to pray to win. Revive us, O Lord! God is good!

Rapture!

The Rapture has been on my mind a lot lately.  I believe that it is going to be soon, probably within the next 2 years.  Here’s how the Rapture is going to work:

The Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever, (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17).

What an exciting time to be alive!  But also, how dreadful it will be for those left behind.  I don’t believe that there will be a single church (of more than 20 members) that will be completely taken away.  The ones left behind will be comprised of those who danced around the edges of Christianity, liking the music, liking the people, perhaps even liking the message, but who had never made a personal commitment.  Also among the ones left behind will be those so-called carnal Christians.  Those are the ones who prayed the prayer of salvation, they attend church regularly, and honestly believe themselves to be Christians, but their lives do not bear fruit.  These people probably have a fish on their car and pray before meals, but there is no real evidence of a change in their heart.

There will also be those who became Christians, but then changed their minds.  They may have been enticed away by the so-called pleasures of the world or they may have just bailed when trouble came.

In the parable of the 10 virgins, Jesus clearly stated that not all of us will be carried away in the Rapture:

At that time the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the Bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The Bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. At midnight the cry rang out: “Here’s the Bridegroom! Come out to meet Him!” Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, “Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.” “No,” they replied, “there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.”

But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the Bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with Him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. Later the others also came. “Lord, Lord,” they said, “open the door for us!” But He replied, “Truly I tell you, I don’t know you.” Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour, (Matthew 25:1-13, emphasis mine).

Oil is symbolic of the anointing of the Holy Spirit.  Notice how the foolish virgins think that they can borrow the anointing from the wise ones?  There are those who hang around with people who are more spiritual than they are, thinking that their anointing will rub-off onto them.  It won’t.  The anointing can only come from a personal experience with the Lord, and that will only come with commitment and surrender.

Those left behind are not necessarily going to hell, but they will have to go through the Tribulation, which will be the most terrible period in the all of earth’s history.  They will remember what they have learned about the Rapture, and they’ll know what happened to the rest of us.  At that time, many of them will finally make a real decision for Christ.

The enemy (the antichrist) is going to deceive the whole earth.  His powers of deception will be so strong that even committed Christians will have a hard time not falling for his lies (Matthew 24:4-5).  In fact, such deceptions are already being set up, with people investigating how the ancients built the pyramids and Stonehenge.  Some of these people have said that the ancients had the help of alien technology.  They have concluded that these aliens inhabited the doomed island of Atlantis.  These conclusions are supported by the writings of Edgar Cayce.  Some people claim that Jesus was an alien.  The antichrist will explain the Rapture away by saying that we were abducted by aliens.  I assure you, there is no such thing as extraterrestrial aliens.  Do not be deceived!  If the devil can appear as an “angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14), then he can easily disguise himself as an alien.

The Antichrist will have supernatural powers, make no mistake about that.  But the source of those supernatural powers will be the devil, himself.

The secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the One who now holds it back will continue to do so till He is taken out of the way. And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of His mouth and destroy by the splendor of His coming. The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with how Satan works. He will use all sorts of displays of power through signs and wonders that serve the lie, and all the ways that wickedness deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved, (2 Thessalonians 2:7-10, emphasis mine).

Because he will have supernatural powers, people will believe what he says, no matter how ridiculous.  He will likely claim to be the reincarnation of Jesus or Jesus returned to earth.  Jesus will not return to earth until the end of the Tribulation, which will take place over a 7 year period of time.

At some point, the antichrist will require all the inhabitants of the earth to receive a tattoo, or more likely an implanted microchip into their right hand or forehead that will allow them to buy and sell.  That is the mark of the beast:

It also forced all people, great and small, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hands or on their foreheads, so that they could not buy or sell unless they had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of its name. This calls for wisdom. Let the person who has insight calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. That number is 666, (Revelation 13:16-18, emphasis mine).

Those who are left behind who don’t take the mark of the beast will be beheaded—if they are caught:

I saw thrones on which were seated those who had been given authority to judge. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony about Jesus and because of the Word of God. They had not worshiped the beast or its image and had not received its mark on their foreheads or their hands. They came to life and reigned with Christ a thousand years, (Revelation 20:4, emphasis mine).

Notice I say if they are caught.  My advice to those left behind: make a commitment to live for Jesus, and find a remote place—hide!  But if you must choose, have the faith and courage to lose your head for Jesus (literally!).

Best of all, make a commitment now!  I have written about missing flights and trains because of divine appointments (see I Missed the Train and Chapter 11 of my book Laughing in my Dreams).  But believe me, this is one flight you do not want to miss!  God is good!

Dreaming Truth

Day Seven

I had a dream that faded almost as soon as I was awake.  All I remember of it were impressions: I had something embarrassing happen to me, but I don’t know what.  The devil tried to make me feel ashamed for the embarrassment, I don’t remember how.  I shrugged off embarrassment, and the Lord told me (the only thing that I remember clearly): “Where pride is absent, grace abounds.”  Perhaps that means that hurt pride results in shame.

I don’t always dream about the devil, but when I do, I tend to remember it.  A couple of times, I’m sure that’s because he was actually there.  I will tell you about them, not because we should be fixated on the devil—not at all!  But I think these particular dreams are instructive.

The first time I dreamed about the devil I was 17 years old, born again, and newly filled with the Holy Spirit.  However, I didn’t really know or understand how to walk with the Lord.  I had been raised in the Episcopal Church, and made my decision to follow Jesus the night before my Confirmation.  But I just didn’t know that we could pray spontaneous prayers, so when I had a need (sick relative or whatever), I looked it up in the Book of Common Prayer and prayed from the book.  But when I was 17 my parents started going to a Charismatic Episcopalian prayer group.  They invited me, too.  I had never heard people pray like this, and I loved it.

A man from the prayer group was involved with the Full Gospel Businessmen, and invited us to come to a meeting.  The man who preached talked the whole time about the Holy Spirit.  I was fascinated.  We Episcopalians always called Him “The Holy Ghost.”  And He was the mysterious member of the Godhead.  But this man talked like he actually knew the Holy Spirit.  At the end of his sermon, he invited anybody wanting to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit to come down front.  I had no idea what that was, but I wanted it.  So I went down front.  I hadn’t known it at the time, but my parents were right behind me.  The man laid his hand on my head and immediately I had strange words in my mind.  I hadn’t known what to expect, nobody had told me.  But the man said, “Speak those words.”  So I did.

The first devil dream came shortly afterwards.  I dreamed that I was in my bedroom, with everything exactly in place, just as I had left it before going to sleep.  He entered my room by the door and walked around to the side of the bed where I was laying.  In the dream, my skin jumped up to goosebumps and I was very scared.  Then he grinned and sat down on the bed beside me.  I felt the mattress compress under him.  That’s when I woke up, and I could still feel the mattress compressed where he had sat.  I was very frightened and completely weirded-out.

Now, I understand why the devil visited me in that dream: he was trying to catch up with God as usual, but he was too late.

He showed up at other times in dreams through the years, doing scary things like walking around my bed in my new house.  The floor in the bedroom was linoleum, and although I didn’t see him, I could hear his hoof-steps on the floor.  Another time I saw my Bible get pulled out of the bookcase by invisible hands and put in backwards (spine inward).  But sitting on my bed was the scariest thing of all.

This winter while I was home visiting my family for Christmas break I had the first devil dream I had had in a many years.  Again, in my dream I could see my room exactly as I had left it before going to sleep.  I saw the devil standing by my window, backlit by the landscape lights outside.  Immediately, I turned my back to him and in my dream went right back to sleep.  A few weeks later I heard about how Martin Luther handled the devil’s nighttime visits.  He wrote:

When the devil comes at night to worry me, this is what I say to him: “Devil, I have to sleep now. That is God’s commandment, for us to work by day and sleep at night.”

Ha!  Just what I did, but I didn’t talk to him.

A week or two later, I had another devil dream, and this one paralleled the first one.  My room was exactly as I had left it before sleep.  The devil came in the door and walked around the bed to where I was sleeping and sat down on the bed.  Again I felt the mattress compress under him.  But this time instead of fear, I got angry.  I told him to get out of my room.  And I woke up.

As I observed above, I believe that the devil is just trying to catch up with God.  But he can’t.  I heard a Joseph Prince sermon recently that I wrote about in I Will Make You Know.  Basically he pointed out that where you see the devil interfering, God has already been at work blessing you.  Therefore, give God praise and thanksgiving for blessing you in the area where you see trouble.  You can read it in more detail by following the link.

Just imagine the trouble we could give the devil if only we really understood our inheritance as God’s children.  We were made to live as more than conquerors, so why are we living ordinary lives?  In the movie Superman II (1982), Superman gives up his superpowers for love.  Very romantic, and not so much different than God becoming a human because of love for us.  But many Christians are living Clark Kent lives that are excruciatingly ordinary, when we have been given the right to live the supernatural lives we were made to live.

This is day 7 of my fast for understanding of these End Times, and how better to prepare for what’s ahead.  I believe that living in God’s supernatural empowerment is key.  God is good!

How to Hear God’s Voice

Day Five

Often I have had people—even born-again Christians—ask me how it is that I hear God speaking to me, and how do I know it’s not just my own thoughts.  If you’re following my blog, then you know that I am doing a 21 day fast, praying for understanding of the things to come, and how we can prepare.  Almost everybody agrees that we are living in the End Times.  The Bible speaks of many dangers to come, and one of the most dangerous is deception.  We need to be tuned-in to God’s voice so that we can know truth from deception.  The enemy’s deception will be so strong, supported by counterfeit miracles, that even Christians will be in grave danger of believing his lies (Matthew 24:24; Mark 13:22).

With this in mind, I had come across notes from a 2010 cell group meeting a few days ago.  These were notes titled How to Hear God’s Voice, and taken from Matthew 7:24: “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock,” (emphasis mine).  A lot of times we hear God’s voice, but for whatever reason (timidity, the instruction seems crazy, we don’t want to do it, etc.) we don’t do what He says.  If we don’t do what He says, He won’t speak again—why should He?

Ask yourself: did I obey God the last time I heard His voice?

If not, then do the thing He told you to do, if possible.

Submit to His lordship and resist the devil.

James 4:7

Confess any known sin.

God is not going to share His thoughts with someone who is unrepentant or continuing in sin.

Ask specific questions and expect an answer.

I have always disliked my forehead, and felt embarrassed about it.  One time I was going to get my hair cut and I looked in the mirror and said, “Lord, why is my forehead so big?” not expecting an answer, but immediately He said, “To kiss!”  In my mind I saw God kiss me on the forehead.  Sometimes even when you don’t expect an answer, you will get one.

Allow God to speak to you any way He chooses, and don’t limit Him.

Understand that God will never contradict His Word, the Bible.  He speaks:

1. Audibly, often in a still, small voice, other times in a voice that sounds like your interior voice
2. Through the Bible, which you should be reading daily
3. Through other believers
4. Sometimes even through strangers or unbelievers

Step out in faith.

Trust God that He can and will lead you in the right direction, even when you don’t know exactly where you’re going

Don’t talk about your word too soon.

The enemy is listening, but he can’t hear your conversations with God, only with other people, so be wise.

Unless you must act immediately, wait and watch for confirmation.

Beware of counterfeits!

The devil may try to lead you in a wrong direction, but you can avoid this danger (see below).

Cultivate a relationship with God.

Spend time with Him in prayer.  Pass time quietly in His presence, without making requests.  Include listening when you pray.  Just as you walk and talk with friends, walk and talk with God.  Practice hearing His voice so that you won’t be fooled by counterfeits.  This means really listening for Him to speak.

You’ve got to want to hear Him speak to you.  

• Don’t be surprised when God’s response is not what you expect, His thoughts are higher than your thoughts (

Isaiah 55:8-9).

• Concentrate on His love for you, and you will hear His voice.

Fall deeply in love with Him, and be willing to p

• ut aside the things that distract you from hearing His voice:

1. Turn off your cell phone, tablet, video games device, MP3 player, computer, tv—anything that prevents you from being fully present
2. These things are not evil, but the enemy can use them to distract you
3. Practice being fully present for at least an hour a day

I believe that it will become increasingly important for us to be listening to His voice.  If the world’s Christians don’t willingly turn off the distracting electronic devices, then God will allow the whole internet worldwide to come crashing down.  Frankly, I’m surprised that it hasn’t happened already.

The Prophecy Fulfilled At Last!

Waaaaaaaaay back in 1976, I received a prophecy at a prayer meeting.  Someone was kind enough to write it all down for me, which means that it must have been recorded.  In those days that means that it was probably recorded on a cassette recorder, possibly even a big reel-to-reel tape recorder, and typed on a manual typewriter.  Young people, what this means is that a lot of time and effort went into writing the prophecy for me.  I don’t remember who spoke the prophecy, but it really doesn’t matter, that person was just the instrument God used that evening, and also the person who wrote it out for me.

The prophecy is on 3 yellowed and stained pieces of paper.  There are typographical errors and ellipses to indicate where the person writing could not hear parts of the prophecy.  The paper has been folded in half and has moved with me every time that I have moved since 1976, which is 10 times.  Most of those moves are long distance (more than 500 miles), and include 3 international moves.  It is astonishing that the paper was never lost or destroyed, especially considering that I didn’t take any special care of it.

Most astonishing of all is that for most of the 1980’s I was very far from God, even considering myself an atheist for 8 years.  The prophecy hadn’t made sense to me at the time I received it, so I probably would have thrown it out  if I had come across those papers during that time.  [How God reclaimed me is a very cool story, but too long for right here.  Stay tuned, I’ll try to get to it in a day or so.]

Over the years I have come across the prophecy, sometimes I’ve searched for it.  I have read and re-read it many times, but I never, never understood it until just recently.

Part of the difficulty in understanding the prophecy was the language.  The prophet spoke in King-James-ish English.  I don’t personally have trouble with King James English.  Having grown up Episcopalian, my early church experience was all King James.  My first reading of the Bible was the King James Version.  But for some reason, the prophecy was too difficult to understand.  During my believing years I had kept it, always feeling that it was somehow important, though I didn’t understand it.  The last time I read it was about 2 years ago.  I had brought it to Milan with me.  But I still didn’t understand it.  It makes me think of Habakkuk 2:2, which says: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.  For the revelation awaits an appointed time.”  I think that I didn’t understand the prophecy before the appointed time.

What it says (in part) is:

There is a truth, says the Lord, that I am leading you in; that you should be one of My true mercy, that you should be one of greater mercy, which is My love in action.  My mercy, My kindness, My tenderness upon the lives of others.  For I will send you in as a great Christian spring in a time when many are dry.  For now there shall be those of your own kindred that you should be witnessing to, that you should be speaking to and shall refresh them so that they shall receive greater, greater than that which even I promised. . . (emphasis mine).

Now I understand that this was speaking of this ministry of encouraging missionaries—decades before it started!  On Thursday night I returned home to Milan from a prayer trip to Sofia and Skopje (see my posts of the previous couple of weeks).  Yesterday the pastor from Skopje sent me a message saying (in part): “What a blessings you where in Skopje, Macedonia.  Thank you sooo much for being like fresh water in the desert,” (emphasis mine).  Wow!  This is when the encourager gets encouraged!

I had always taken “those of your own kindred” to be literal relatives, but now I realize that the prophecy speaks of brothers and sisters in Christ.  I’ve always felt called to help Christians understand and begin to really live in their calling.  That is the “truth” spoken of in the first line of the prophecy.

Another part of the prophecy says:

You will find Me in praise, as many of My people find Me in praise, for I will direct praises even now, even henceforth, that they may be praises from your hearts.  My praises, that have seemingly been by sacrifice in the past, but now shall be very real; for now I shall be pleased with you in obedience in My Word that you praise and enact truth in affixing your eyes upon Christ Jesus. . .

The “sacrificial” praise was something that wasn’t in the past when this was written, but in the future.  Now it’s in the past—how I praised God with all my heart even while I was going through the worst depression of my life in the summer of my divorce [more about that another time].

There is also a part that I believe speaks of the future.  I will not include it here.  As Daniel wrote: “The vision of the evenings and mornings that has been given you is true, but seal up the vision, for it concerns the distant future,” (Daniel 8:26).

I have spent some time today looking for the actual papers, and I can’t find them.  But I know that I will find them when the future part becomes important.  What I did find was €230!  Provision and grace are always working in my favor because I don’t limit God.  God is good!

I’m Not Beating Myself Up

Oops!  The old me showed up again yesterday.  How annoying!  It had seemed like the perfect plan, but the only flaw was that it was a lie.  Almost as soon as the lie was out of my mouth, my spirit began speaking to me about the need to be sincere, transparent, pure-hearted, honest, and above reproach at all times.

But—it would be so much easier to just keep up the pretense—she’ll never know.

Go tell her the truth.

But—this early in our relationship?  She’ll never trust me.

Confess the lie.

But—how do I tell her I lied?

Just do it!

So at the very first opportunity, I went and confessed the lie.  I asked for forgiveness and promised never to lie to her again.  Instead of suspicion, doubt, and anger—all of which I deserved—I got grace, pardon, and understanding from someone who barely knows me.

I used to be a liar, BC—a big liar.  Lying was such a habit that I would lie even when the truth would have served me better.  And it wasn’t easy to overcome that habit.  It was the toughest test of character I’ve ever gone through.  Here’s what it took to overcome habitual lying:  whenever I heard a lie come out of my mouth, I would stop myself and say, “Wait!  That’s not true.”  And then tell the truth—even when it hurt.  After several months of that, I became the truthful person that I am today.

So how did this happen?  Fear.  And fear is the opposite of faith.  It takes faith and courage to tell the truth in all circumstances.  I’ve been told that I’m a brave person to have moved to Italy by myself.  I used to think that they just don’t know how scared I am sometimes.  But then I realized that courage isn’t the absence of fear.  Courage is not letting fear stop you—even stop you from telling the truth in all circumstances.

Courage is also being brave enough to reveal yourself, flaws and all, to your friends.  Thank you, my friends, for bearing with me and my flaws.  Your encouragement helps me to be my best self.